I can't watch pbs sober anymore
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
