Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
