You made me cry and you don't even care
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
