White coat. Heels.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
