Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
