I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
