She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
How external is "for external use only"?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
where are my eyebrows?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
