well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
why does every cop we meet know your name?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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