She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
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I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
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if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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