Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
