my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
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All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
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Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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