I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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