I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
