Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
