i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
