I just saw a hot homeless man
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!