Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

basic color theory

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(310): View more from California

I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.

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(301): View more from Maryland

The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.

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(613): View more from Ontario

do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?

(1-613): View more from Ontario

not a thing

(613): View more from Ontario

walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(954): View more from Florida

I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.

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(972): View more from Texas

Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.

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(785): View more from Kansas

WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS

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(775): View more from Nevada

Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.

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(626): View more from California

It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?

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