Pants 0. Shit 1.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize