But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
