im about as happy as oj after his trial
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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