What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
