i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
