so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
