We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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