Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
