i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
