So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
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You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
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Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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