Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
