But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
