just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
