does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
