I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
