Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
