Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize