Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
There are leaves in my underwear?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
