Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
