belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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