help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
