I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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