remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i just google imaged poop.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just want nice things and good sex
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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