Where did you get a picture of my penis
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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