Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize