Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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