I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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