Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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