My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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