That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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