I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
