Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
