I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
