i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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