I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
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She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
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he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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