Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
PANTIES FOUND
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