When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
