I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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