Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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