So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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