we have pet lesbian snakes
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Fuck appropriateness.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'm having to shit out rocks
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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