I want to stick my p in your. b.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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