We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm both gender and math confused
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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