A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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