bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
