Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my phone needs a breathalizer
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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