I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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