I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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