Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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