yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
