I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
