Don't you send me to vm
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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