Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You're like the curious george of whores
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
