He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
